just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
