I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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