I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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