can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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