Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
