We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
