I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
