I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
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