My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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