I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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