Dual....:-)
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
