You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
its not stalking. its research.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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