i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
