My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
