I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
