I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
