Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
