i think i have two assholes
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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