WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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