im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
