I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
