I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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