Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
