OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
