Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
