Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i would one night stand the shit outta him
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
