My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I could fuck to npr.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
