I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
