Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
