grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
