tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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