I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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