Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
