I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
