So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My cat gives me a boner
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Is it because I queefed?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
