Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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