If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Congratulations! We have a period
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