they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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