Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
