What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
