It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
