so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
