I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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