I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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