Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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