nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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