okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
