I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
