Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Boobs speak an international language.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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