Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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