I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
