You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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