Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
