I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
