chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
