We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
