Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
