She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
