In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
