I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My feet surprised me
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