wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
