I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
