guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
