Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize