first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
