I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
