VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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