I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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