i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
