hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
