Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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