Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
