My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
