I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize