She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
