It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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