The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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