Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
