and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
