I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
our cab driver is having phone sex.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
